


Rectify

by ivycross



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, Jim does something stupid, M/M, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-25
Updated: 2014-02-25
Packaged: 2018-01-13 18:05:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1236025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivycross/pseuds/ivycross
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tattoos gotten while intoxicated are never a good idea, but you would at least think that if Jim Kirk got one of Spock's penis that it would at least be accurate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rectify

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pamdizzle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pamdizzle/gifts).



> Requested prompts the other night and was given this little gem :  
>  _Kirk gets a botched tattoo on a drunk night out of a Vulcan peen. Spock sees it, notices it's inaccuracies and, while Jim sleeps off his hangover-after a long day of freaking out over said tattoo-Spock takes a sharpie to it and corrects it._

The door of the cabin slid open and Spock looked up to see McCoy dragging Jim, who Spock could see was unconscious, into the room with one arm wrapped around the Jim's limp frame. Spock stood up from his chair behind his disk and approached McCoy as he pulled Jim around the screen.

"Doctor? Is everything alright?" he cast his eyes to Jim as McCoy laid him out on the bunk.

"Yeah." McCoy answered. "Jim just had a few too many Romulain Martini’s, that's all." He moved past Spock towards the door, talking over his shoulder as he went. "Just make sure he comes to see me in the morning. I'll give him something for the hangover and, uh, take care of the other matter too."

Spock followed McCoy, his eyebrow raised in concern.

"Other matter?" He inquired.

McCoy stopped before the door, grinning. "Yeah. I shouldn't tell you, but if you really wanna know, check out the back of Jim's right leg. Night Spock."

McCoy cleared the room and Spock stood there, curiosity radiating off him. He moved back around the screen and gently touched Jim’s shoulder. With a snort and a smacking of lips Jim came to.

"Wazzit," he said as Spock sat down beside him. Blue eyes focused on him and a wide drunken grin passed over Jim’s face.

"Spock! Hi Spock."

Spock inclined his head.

"Hello Jim. Am I to assume that you and Doctor McCoy enjoyed your leave?"

Jim gave a giggle as a limp hand reached up, stroking Spock's arm. Spock watched it impassively, before turning his gaze back to Jim's face.

"Yep," Jim answered. He continued to smile at Spock as the Vulcan felt the tiniest pull toward the Human. He would never understand why Jim behaved the way he did at times, but Spock found he could not help but to have strong emotions toward the human. _It is illogical but rewarding_. Standing, Spock moved to tuck Jim in for the night, when Jim sat up excitedly.

"Hey Spock," he shouted. Spock fought not the wince. "You wanna see something cool?"

"Do I, Jim? Spock asked. Jim nodded. Awkwardly, he stood and immediately pulled down his pants, exposing his lucky rocket ship underpants. He turned away, so that he faced the bed, but looked over his shoulder at Spock, still grinning.

"What do you think?" He asked.

"What do I think about what?" Spock asked carefully in return, not sure where Jim was going with this. Jim laughed.

"About my sweet new tat!" he giggled. Spock furrowed his brow as his eyes scanned Jim’s body. On the back of Jim’s right leg was a fresh inking of...

"Jim," Spock said quietly. "What is that?"

The smile was gone now as Jim turned to face him.

"It's your penis, Spock. Don't you like it?" Jim asked looking disappointed. Sighing inwardly, Spock stepped forward, gently pressing Jim to the bunk.

"We shall discuss it in the morning," He intoned as Jim frowned. “For now you should rest.”

"I thought you would like it," Jim said disappointment in his voice. Not bothering to pull his pants back up, he rolled over on to his stomach with a loud huff. Spock stood there for several moments before he went back to his desk and continued his work.

An hour later, having completed his reports, Spock stood and made his way to the bunk, just to make sure that Jim was alight. Jim was were he left him, snoring softly and drooling. Spock peered down at his mate and shook his head a tiny smile on his lips.

Then he took notice of the tattoo on Jim's leg and frowned. He could only imagine what Jim told the artist to draw. It looked nothing like any Vulcan penis he had ever seen. It was shameful. A thought occurred to Spock just then and  pulling a marker out of a pocket, Spock leaned over Jim’s leg.

\--------------------

Jim tried to smile as he staggered down to sickbay. The lights in the corridor were too bright and the cheery "good morning Captain," from crew made his head throb. He turned in the door and headed toward McCoy's office. He took one look at McCoy sitting behind his desk, fresh-faced and looking very not hung-over, and he groaned.

"Get in here you big baby," McCoy ordered.  Jim plopped down into a chair. Suddenly a hypo was at his neck and in an instant he started to feel better as the hiss died away.

"Oh thank god, Bones," Jim breathed.  McCoy smirked.

"Don't thank me, yet. I wanted you completely sober for when I laser that mess off you leg."

Jim blinked in confusion.

"Mess on my leg?" he started and then memories of the night before flooded back into his mind. "Oh fuck! Did I really get a tattoo of Spock's penis on my leg?" He asked. McCoy grinned like a jack-o-lantern.

"Yep," he answered gleefully. "Of course, I have no frame of reference., So I can't say if the guy nailed it or not, but you were awful proud of it."

"I bet I was," Jim grimaced. "I just hope Spock didn't see it."

"Aww, why not?"

"Cause could you imagine what he would say?" Jim asked. McCoy paused and thought about it.

"Actually, I can't," he said. Jim nodded.

"Yeah, me neither. That's how bad it is. Alright, let's get this thing off." Jim stood and looked at McCoy. The Doctor gestured for him to turn around, remove his boots, and pull up his pant leg.

Jim obeyed and waited for the first sting of the laser to hit his skin. Instead he listened as McCoy started giggling.

"What's so funny, Bones?" Jim asked nervously. The only reply he got was more laughter. Huffing with irritation, Jim pulled down his pant leg and went into the Sickbay fresher.

It had a full length mirror and Jim turned the back of his leg towards it, pulling up his pant leg once more, while he peered over his shoulder.

He could just make out words:

_Too many ridges around the grans_

_Testicles_ _are_ _internal and should not be seen at the base of the penis._

 _Vulcans do_ _not_ _have _fra'ls_  
_

 _Just_ _because_ _my blood i_ _s_ _green does not mean that my sexual organs look like a plant stock. There should be no vines or flowers._

What's more Jim could make out where someone had taken a marker, removing or adding details to the image. He was completely horrified. How would he face his boyfriend and First Officer ever again?  He continued reading and at the bottom of the tattoo Jim read the words:

 _"I have_ _rectified_ _this,_ _so it is now anatomically correct. However, p_ _lease remove as soon as possible, or I will withhold sexual favors. -Spock._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, y'all.


End file.
